Found and Lost

I hope I am not losing a friend.

One of my friends is going through a tough time right now. I assume. She won't really tell us. We're doing a lot of guessing. She's somehow shut down on us. I understand that this is how she deals with things. She just wants to hibernate and figure it out. And when she does that, she shuts us all out. We're not supposed to take it personally - but how can you not?

There's such a delicate line sometimes - when you want to help someone but at the same time you want to give them their space. You surely don't want to offend them by insinuating they need help, yet you want to let them know you care. Women are awful at this, by the way. We always read too much into things. But is it better to just ignore them?

My friend, and maybe a lot of women in general, have trouble letting others in. Afraid to show weakness. Maintaining their independance. Finding it hard to ask for help. It sure would make it a lot easier if she did. Just like a lot of women find it hard to clearly communicate what they want. Why do we do this to eachother?

I don't know if she's going to come out of this. I hope she will. But somehow when she does, I don't think our friendship is going to be the same. I would like it to be, but in her tough time, she's done some hurtful things. Can she go back to how she was? Can I pretend that nothing happened when she shut the door on me?

I'm trying not to make this about me. She is the one having issues. But since I can't control how she feels, and only how I feel, then I guess I can choose to be hurt or not to be. Right now I'm choosing to be patient. I hope she comes around.