Shoes

I don't know what it is about me and shoes. Shoes have always had a transformative effect on me. They can create a mood, change an appearance, lift one up or take one down. And, like I always said, no matter how fat I feel, I can always get a great pair of shoes.

They don't have to be fancy or expensive either. I have had times where I've walked into Payless or Target and bought a cute pair of something trendy that I wasn't sure I've wanted to buy, and have it be the most cathartic $15 I've spent all years (right up there with an eyebrow-wax).

When I was in 6th grade, my first year in California, I remember having a dress-up day in my Catholic school. I wore white patent-leather dress shoes. I was teased all day for their "little-girl" appearance. That was not fun. I quickly realized that shoes make quite an impression (and I don't think I would even let my 4-year-old wear a pair of white mary janes now, for fear that she won't look like a big girl).

About 15 years ago, I bought a pair of Doc Martens (blogged about previously). I had recently divorced and I felt incredibly empowered by those shoes. That was not a "dainty" time for me. I wanted to stomp on a lot of things, feelings, people, wanted to be a tough chick. I still have those shoes, and I still feel really strong when I put them on. But I do know better than to wear them with baby-doll dresses like I used to.

Shortly after that, I went through a "career girl" shoe phase. Stacked heel, square-toed loafers or pumps - are they considered pumps if the heel is high? I must have had every career girl color - black, dark brown, navy blue. I must have thought those shoes said, "I am serious." Those are not sexy shoes and they make me look like I have cankles. I do not have any of them anymore.

Maybe six years ago, I realized shoes were fun. I have a pair of red suede loafers that are tremendous fun. How can you not feel fun in red shoes? I also have a pair of purple slingback heels. I'm not sure what I thought I would wear them with when I bought them, but I loved them so much I still plan outfits around them.

I remember when I bought my beloved Isaac Mizrahi slingbacks. Finally, he marriage of "career girl" shoe with a rockin' stiletto heel. I bought them to go with a specific suit. When I got them home, I tried them on with the suit. They didn't go well together. I tried to return them the next day. It was painful -not the shoes, the thought of having to return them! So I didn't. I wore those freakin' shoes till the foundation cracked and the cobbler told me they couldn't be repaired anymore. I miss them. Sniff Sniff.

The high-heel has been a wardrobe staple for me. Don't get me wrong, I love flats too, love the comfort of my running shoes, the freedom of flip-flops, but heels are what make me feel terrific. I remember running from one terminal at San Jose airport clear to the other terminal in heels, with no problem. I recently busted tail over a guy in the airport while I was wearing 3-inch stilettos - he commented that he didn't know how I did it. Practice, my dear.

Last year, I had a little bit of an awakening, where I just kinda took a look at my closet and said, "If it doesn't make me feel good wearing it, I don't want it." I was determined to wear clothes that make me feel good. Shoes too. I happened upon a gift card and bought a pair of silver t-strap sandals with rhinestones. I don't know why I bought them. How frequently do you think I wear those shoes in my life as a suburban working mom (who works from home, BTW, and makes most outings to a park or to a store that involves "aisles")? I don't care. I put those shoes on and I feel GREAT. And I wear them with jeans, to dinner. Probably not what they were intended for, but I don't own a stripper pole.

This weekend, I happened upon another gift card plus an amazing couple of sales. I ended up buying a bunch of clothes for my family...and two pairs of really fun shoes for me!