Seems like you hear about this every holiday, and I think there have even been numerous movies made about this...why do family holiday gatherings always seem to incite drama? Take this Easter, for instance...
Maybe I was the instigator this time. Subject to interpretation, I guess. Who is the instigator...the person who commits the injustice, or the person who calls them on it? In this case, I was the latter...on the receiving end of yet another self-centered act commited by a family member with a pattern of doing such. The difference this time is that I called her on it. I was mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.
On this particular occasion, we were denied having a family gathering at our house, for reasons that ended up not being true. Then we found out the family who couldn't make it was going to be in Southern Cal anyway for that holiday, not an hour from our house. Tell me how I'm not supposed to take that personally.
When confronted about it, the real reason ends up being (apparently), "I don't want to come to your town." And that is supposed to make me feel better? You mean, when I come to your suburb, you think it's because I like to watch you shuttle your kids to birthday parties and sporting events? I have enough of that on my own, thank you. I come to your neck of the woods because that's where your family lives, and we want to see you. I don't care what town it is or what your per capita income is (something else that seems to matter to the perp). I would expect the same consideration from family.
I take blame for some things here...I have given her too much control. When we had to reschedule our daughter's baptism because she couldn't make it due a planned trip (that she ended up not taking), we should have drawn the line there and not scheduled around her, but we did. We are more considerate that that. When she planned her mom's 60th birthday party (a moveable event) the same weekend as my neice's graduation (a non-moveable) event, we were forced to split the family and tag team events, since that weekend worked best for her and she didn't check it with other people. When she spent the weekend I miscarried my first pregnancy flaunting her own pregnancy, I pretended to be happy for her.
Those things won't happen anymore. I am taking my control back. Her world has (at least) one less citizen.
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Hi Christine! I stumbled upon your blog from Facebook (somehow ended up on your page through another colleague) and just wanted to let you know that I love your writing style and the topics you blog about. You're so witty and genuine - I really appreciate that about you! By the way, in case you don't remember me, I know you from D and met you a long time ago. Try 8-9 years ago! Hope all is well! ~Sherly L.
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